This weekend I did something extremely stupid. It was one of the stupidest things I have ever done. Then I squared my stupidness. Let’s start with Friday night. Almost everyone went home . Rick, Mike, Maria, and Katie went ice skating, but I didn’t really feel like going so I went to see Videodrome on campus instead. I came home and took a shower then called Char. We talked for about and hour and I found out what happened on New Year’s Eve and everything. At about 1:30 Chris called and we talked for a little while. He still wants me to transfer to OU next year and major in English. I don’t think I will.
Now onto the stupidness, Saturday night. Me, Rick, Mike, Chris, Bart, and Tina went to the basketball game and sat with a group of people and cheered on the Raiders. It was fun. Then we came back here and Chris and I went to a party down the hall. There was a whole bunch of people there and I talked to Chrissy, I knew a whole bunch of them so I didn’t feel out of place. Anyway, I started talking to Monica from down the hall and also a girl named Angie. Monica and I were having a good time talking and having beer fights. Somehow we both got down here (I was pretty drunk) alone. I noticed something on her face and started teasing her about it, which of course, led to us making out (stupid part I). I heard some commotion in the hall but didn’t give it a second thought. Until Tracey came in and asked us what was going on. So the three of us went down the hall and there was Chris talking to Jonathon. We got Chris out of the area and it turned out that he and some guy named Taz got into it. Jonathon make Mark dump all the beer and I think Jack got written up.
About this time, Monica jumped on Gina’s bed and passed out for the most part. Angie showed up around that time and we came down to my room for a cigarette. Now I don’t know what I was thinking about because Angie is 21 and closely resembles a whale among anything else. But she ended up on the loft with me, and articles of clothing were removed, etc (Stupid squared). I won’t go into detail because I’m sure I won’t forget this disgraceful part of my life. Suffice it to say that I didn’t sleep with her. The thing that really pisses me off and hurts deep down is that the whole time I was thinking about how I would rather be with Monica. While at the same time I was cursing myself for being unfaithful to Char. I really love Char and I never would want to her her, but I don’t know if my sex drive is going to let me alone. It would be so much easier if she lived here. I really hope I don’t do anything like this again and that i don’t let my dick do my thinking for me.
So that was my extreme stupidness. I just talked to Char, but I didn’t tell her anything. How could I? I know she trusts me and if I told her I already betrayed her trust, she would never forgive me. I just want to see her. Angie gave me a hickey in order to make my disgrace a visible sign. Now just about everyone knows something, and I don’t think I need to worry about the word getting out, I am a little bit worried about when she comes down for the Rush concert. So I’m worried again.
Well, some more happy news. My adviser told me that it will take me five years to get my degree. He said less that 10% of science majors get it in four years, and I’m certainly not going to knock myself out trying. I’ve got a Biology test this Friday that I must do very well on (I need a B) because I need a C in that class in order fir the credit to go toward my major. I also have a killer English paper due this Friday. It turns out I was born on the first day of Earth Week 1971, so I’m going to do something pertaining to that. I’m not real worried though because I’ve gotten B’s in my first two papers. At the mid-term I’m getting a 63% in Math, but we’ve only had one test and we have three more, so I just need to get my ass in gear in that class and I should get at least a C. Next quarter I’m taking HIST 102, MATH 128, ENG 102, EC 200 and I’m going to try to get into Fencing again. Ah well, Life sucks. . . . .Until we meet again. . . .