12-26-94 Monday Home in the attic
I broke up with Rhea about two and a half or three weeks ago and only today, this morning as I was waking up did I begin to feel any regret or feelings that maybe I didn’t try hard enough or end the relationship well enough. I guess I knew that I would have to break up with her or get married to her and then get a divorce so I suppose it has worked out for the better.
The youth theater reunion went really well. I saw Wendy and Jon, Toni, Lynn, Jeff and a number of other people but that was the core group of people that I cared about and was glad to see. After the play we all went to Jon’s gorgeous apartment in Cleveland Heights right behind Jillians, he has this huge three bedroom apartment all to himself. Very nice. Anyway I had been hanging out with Vicki alot before the reunion, and I don’t even want to record what went on with Daniella, because nothing really did.
Chris got back shortly after the reunion and we have been going out a lot to all the regular places. Last Thursday when we were at BW3 there were so many beautiful women in that bar. I mean they were all over the place, I’m not sure why but on the very next night last Friday we went to Mugsy’s and bumped into Mark and his drunk blind date and there were women all over the place there as well. We walked down to the Colony and it just continued the trend. I don’t know why I am going into this, but I bumped into Carol Ann at the Colony and also Kim O’Conner on the way out but we didn’t get to talk about that much.
The other interesting thing to note here is my interest in Wendy finally coming to the surface. I think one of the reasons I broke up with Rhea was a semi-sub-conscious thought of finally going out with Wendy and I knew that now would be a pretty good time to try it. Nothing really occurred at the reunion but last week I met Toni, Jon and Erica Miller for coffee at Coffee and Creations in Pepper Pike and Jon and Toni both said that they thought that Wendy and I would end up together eventually and I told them that I had those same feelings from time to time and that perhaps now was a good time to presue those feelings. They seemed excited at the prospect. I just got nervous and started feeling sick especially since Wendy might have shown up that night. She didn’t, but I did eventually puke that night (it was the same night we saw Mark at Quinns and then went to the Colony…too many nerves and too much beer mean I puke). The thing that is upsetting me now is that I cannot remember if Jon said that Wendy had said anything similar to what I had said about feeling like we would eventually end up together. It would be so incredibly strange to switch this relationship from one of being friend for a tremendously long time to being something more, although if I recall she said that her parents had done something similar to that (of course now they are divorced).
Well we will see.. The big plan was for us to deal with it on New Years Eve, since we will all be sleeping over Toni’s house which is supposed to be spectacular.
However I did go out with Wendy before then and before now. Chris and I met her out at the RedHawke grill in Concord right near David’s Condo. We had a long talking evening and Chris eventually brought up the fact that I was an asshole and that I broke up with Rhea by leaving her a note which may have not been the best way to break up with someone. But he told Wendy his version of my recent history and then I told her a very slightly jaded version on how I saw my whole collegiate and beyond relationship with Rhea. I felt pretty well cleansed although I was hoping to do it with just myself and her when we had something more of a relationship and without Chris sitting there. I gave Chris a piece of my mind for a while in the car but after I blew off that steam I felt a little better and I guess that everything will be alright with Wendy and me. It really is all leading up to New Years Eve although hopefully we will go out again before that on something like a date. This is so weird. Its like the culmination of all of my semi-latent desires coming to their fruition. Also I think I can be very good friend with all of these people, especially the core group of Toni and Jon. Knowing me I’ll screw this thing with Wendy up and then try to justify it as not being the right thing like I have with all my other relationships. The problem with this one would be that I know that this one really should be the one relationship whereas all of the others were not. enough.
1 Comment »
not much to say about this one, except that i was pretty emotionally unsettled at the time, looking for something that was right in front of me the whole time but i couldn’t see it.
i think it was after this that i lost contact with the “theatre group” and wendy altogether, although i have run into toni a few times here and there.
Comment by vim — Wednesday, May 10, 2006 @ 12:43 pm